9/25/2011
CA Blogging Assignment #2
My revised thesis for my first essay is"There should not be a framework for what one should do according to their gender," and the three main supporting ideas for this thesis are as follows. The first supporting point for my thesis is the change of gender roles over time. Today, unlike in the past, there is a growing population of working women and "ikumen," who are men who stay at home and raise their children. The second supporing point for my thesis is that people cannot be divided into two genders. There is a disorder called the Gender Identity Disorder, which is when someone has a body with a gender different than their heart. The third supporting point for my thesis is that individual differences come before gender. Not everyone can do everything that others of the same gender can do. Some people are clumsy, and some people are skillful. Also, people's specialties tend to depend on their family business or where they live.
登録:
コメントの投稿 (Atom)
OK, I buy the supporting points. They make sense and can more than adequately support your thesis. I would like the thesis (which is basically OK) to be stated in a way that is easier to grasp as a concept. How about more specific vocabulary such as "the commonly held set of narrowly defined gender role expectations in Japanese society"?
返信削除A thesis with this vocabulary (and the supporting points added) might look like this.
The commonly held set of narrowly defined gender role expectations in Japanese society should be replaced with broader expectations that can allow for exchange of roles within married couples, gender identity disorder, and individual differences within genders.
How about this? I think something like this would be a very effective presentation of the thesis at or near the end of the introduction paragraph.